we didn’t get kicked out of canada Alex, 2024-04-282024-04-29 Road trip time and we shoulda got arrested like nine times by the RCMP and at least twice by Border Patrol. But they let us through, just took a look at us, shook their heads when I said “We want Canadian McD’s” and thank fuck they just glanced at my fake ID. They looked really tired and said something in French which Matt speaks enough he nodded, something about Ange Gardien. Okay this is my first time in another country so I immediately get a panic attack and Dyl has to take over driving. It’s pretty but also really flat. I wasn’t expecting that. And super clean, I mean I thought Vermont was cos it’s not like NJ where people throw shit on the road. We got there and sorry, Pulp Fiction, there’s a quarter pounder on the menu so that’s what I get. I’m struggling cos the guy I’m ordering from doesn’t seem to speak English and Matt’s not helping at all, he’s laughing at me trying to string the four or so words I know in French that someone can say in a church, okay, I let slip “chien merde” once and that made an impression. “Bro what’s the word for mayonnaise?” I asked Matt and he shook his head. So I said “mayonnaise” and the guy at the register blinked and punched something so maybe that’s right. Matt stepped up to order his chicken sandwich and fuck all if that kid doesn’t speak perfect French. Dyl’s eyes got wide. Okay, I’ve never heard Matt really speak French and that got me super hard. Dyl could see the bulge and giggled, “accidentally” brushing it pretty hard when he stepped up. He got his own, also, chicken, yeah we should probably raise chickens but even for just the three of us we’d decimate the earth’s supply of chickens in a month. We get our food outside and surprise there’s no mayo on mine, before I can do anything, Matt takes it away and goes in the car and it’s kinda obvious he’s fucking my burger. I’m cool with that except I’m hungry and running out of fries, meanwhile Dyl’s sitting across from me and got his sneaker off and right in my lap playing with mine. I’m starting to wonder if Canada’s different, you know, would it be socially acceptable to get bent over this plastic table outside. Right then an RCMP car pulls up and I’m like oh shit stop Dyl that’s a cop and he just went harder and I’m about to pass out. The cop walks right past Matt fucking the cheeseburger in the car, doesn’t even notice, but he’s got his kid in tow who’s around our age and super cute, long blond hair, and he stops right there. Okay he’s watching Matt and looks at us with a smile. “You got lotion on you?” I ask Dyl, which is a dumb question, kid has a thing about dry skin that is totally made up in his head so he always does. “Yeah, why?” he says, handing it to me. “I gotta use the bathroom.” Dyl’s eyes get wide cos he’s put it together and I nod to the kid to follow me. He runs to his dad and I freak out but he’s just telling him he has to take a shit as far as I can understand, he smiles at me, I follow. We get in the bathroom quick so no one sees, jeans down fast, he’s already kinda hard but I wanna suck it first. I hand him the lotion and I’m over the sink and he fucks me so hard like I was almost crying. He whispered something in French, I didn’t understand so sexy me goes “huh” and he goes “éjaculer en toi?” which okay that was easier to get so I said “oui, mucho” mixing languages and I guess he got it cos that was a lot and he went super hard. Like I’ve never been fucked that hard and things got blurry for a minute there it felt so good. Then he’s like “et toi” which okay I understood I just never am into fucking but this was hot, I slipped mine in and he gasped and like two seconds after I came, there was knocking on the door. I mean he was pretty noisy cos I got into it and went real hard so I’m guessing it’s his cop dad thinking his kid’s getting murdered in the bathroom. Kid says in almost perfect English “it’s okay, papa, just this shit really is painful. Five more minutes?” I’m panicked and trying to get my jeans up but he spins me around and slams it in and I literally blacked out for a second, he came super quick in me. Then he’s whispering to me to hide and I scramble to get invisible but I make sure to tell him about our place in Vermont and he should visit. I’m standing on the toilet cos he’s got the door open and his old man’s looking around, so I hold my breath. I guess they left cos the door is closed, and after what seems like an hour Dyl’s in there and telling me I can come out now. “I ate your quarter pounder, extra mayo,” he says, laughing. “Was he fun?” I giggle and say yeah he kinda got wild and tell them about it. I got a dick pic, it looks small but it’s fucking magical. And I never got his name. But he talked to Dyl and said he was gonna be in Vermont next week cos his dad had some conference and stuck his number in Dyl’s phone. But he was gonna be in Newport which isn’t super close to us, like forty minutes. “Matthieu,” says Dyl and I’m like, huh, thinking he’s talking about our Matt but that was the kid’s name. “He’s gonna ask his old man if he can stay at our camp for the weekend.” “Chien merde,” I say, “okay, we’re kinda playing with fire.” “Not yet,” says Matt, and he pulls out a ziploc and okay that’s shrooms. We just smuggled drugs across the border. “Put that away,” I laugh, cos there’s kids and families around, but not before we pop some in our mouth. “Let’s go see Quebec City,” says Dyl. We map it and that’s a fuck long way but Montreal’s close so we go there. I’m not good in cities, they freak me out, too many people, but this one’s different. There’s a whole part of the city for gay people, too, and we found it, and it was getting late so we had to find a place to crash. Matt tried super hard to get us a hotel but he was tripping balls and as far as I could make out talking like he was the son of some Canadian diplomat, it wasn’t working, without documents we weren’t gonna stay and that was like almost all our money just for one room in the gay village. Some kids our age were close by, and okay yeah they were tricking but they came over and through Matt translating they said we could crash at theirs if we wanted to make some cash. That seemed a lot sketch but okay this city wasn’t like any American city I’d been to, I’d gone to NYC three times and it was scary, Boston once for shits and giggles, it’s cool, still scary. Somehow Montreal felt as safe as home. I mean we’d already seen how the cops here were, one guy was falling down drunk and the cops were just helping the guy, not being mean. And yeah it’s kinda been in my head I wonder what it’d be like to get paid. I mean my mom did it, she never got hurt as far as I know, and it paid for our place. I just spit out “oui” before anyone else could say anything. Dyl and Matt spin around and look at me in surprise cos I guess they were wondering if they wanted to go there. Okay, only Matt knows my mom was, well, Dyl doesn’t. “Only for me,” I say, “these boys can say whatever, I’ll trick, okay? We got a place to sleep?” The tall one with long hair says, “Etienne, and I wasn’t serious, I mean if you want to, cool, we got an extra room anyways just I need to go over safety with you.” “Look, it’s cool if Alex wants to try that,” blurted Matt, “but idk is it cool if me and Dylan just do stuff with you? We can pay-“ Dyl’s eyes get wide and he fishes out the 50 US he had on him. Etienne waved it away. “You guys are cute, so it’s just fun. Are you sure about this, Alex?” “I’ll try it, too,” says Dyl, “with Alex so we know we’re safe?” I’m almost pissing my pants now but I’m super turned on by the idea of getting paid for it and Etienne says like $100 for an hour or $600 overnight. And he’s going over the rules for safety, makes sure his number is in our phones, and suddenly we’re right out there on the street. Etienne gave us rubbers, I know that’s safety but it also sucks. Matt goes off with them after giving me a kiss, I traded shirts with the Mexican kid cos his is cuter, and Dyl’s giggling like “bro, what are we doing, this is fucking insane” and then there’s a black Tesla. Before Dyl can say shit I double the price and make sure it’s overnight. The guy wants to do me without a condom while Dyl does him without one, and he’ll pay way more, I hesitate a bit then say okay, I mean that’s 3k. He’s probably sixty, maybe fifty-five, paunchy, and dyed his hair worse than I did because it got on his ears. We go back to his hotel, and he’s ordered us a full meal that’s super good, I got steak with mushroom sauce, Dyl got a chicken thing with lemons and onions and we’re all super fucking nervous so he gives us Scotch. I’m still tripping a little but I flip my mind cos he’s paying for fun so I ask him if he wants to spank me. Screw it that was the first thing that popped into my head, me and daddy, well, okay he hesitated and asked if I was sure and I said yeah. Turns out I really getting spanked, especially cos Dyl was in my mouth and okay we both really got into it. I mean both of us were in acting school so that helps. The guy wanted to fuck Dyl in the shower and I looked at him, he smiled so I knew that was cool. I just got drunk while they were in there and I got ideas which is never good. Dyl flops next to me and he’s like that was actually really awesome, I ask if he came, he says no, so before he can react I hop on his dick a lot too fast, that kinda hurts. I lean over close and we start making out, okay, we’ve fucked before but this is different cos the old guy is watching and he’s really fucking this shit outta me. I ask the old guy if he wants to put it in, too, Dyl’s eyes get wide and I’m like “just kiss me and play with my dick” and yeah old guy’s way in me. “Bro, I’m gonna,” whispers Dyl, “I can stay hard.” But the old guy was done even before Dyl and says he wants to watch us fuck, Dyl says he wants to cum some more. So we make out and okay we weren’t acting, both of us knew we were being watched so we did like three positions and idk how many times he did. And that was basically the rest of it, he jerked off to me and Dyl doing it twice more and in the end paid us 4k. And we’re dropped off right where we were and Dyl’s like “okay that was fucking hot, you think we could talk Matt into just watching us?” which is like what I’m thinking. We got the apartment keys but coffee first cos we slept like two hours. This city has the best coffee. We get to the apartment and Matt’s crashed out with the three of them and one new super cute kid. He’s a black kid with an awesome body and a giant dick, he’s got dreds. I look at Dyl and shrug, then lie next to the kid, play with his dick to get him hard, his eyes open and he smiles and fuck it, I slip him in me and Matt wakes up. Dyl tells him to join in and Matt’s confused for a minute, then he’s in me, too. Dyl’s gone to take a shower but he’s out and the kid says he’s about to and if he can cum in me, I say yeah. His name’s Devon, he gasped as I asked him. Dyl put his in my mouth and I got his juice right about the same time I got Matt and Devon’s in me. “Holy fuck,” gasps Matt, “Devon we gotta kidnap you.” Devon’s eyes get wide so I gotta tell him he’s kidding but if he wouldn’t mind being in the trunk for a couple hours we can give him a cool place to live. Then he says yeah and so do the other boys and fuck that trunk’s gonna be tight. We stop twenty miles before the border, yeah we picked a small station close to our place instead of going up from Burlington like before, and thank fuck it’s the sheriff doing double duty with Border Patrol, he just waves us through. I mean he knows we’re up to something, we had a big talk last week, me, him, Matt, Dyl, and he gets what we’re doing matters so he’s gonna run interference as much as he can and protect us. We get back and all hell’s broke loose, right after we get Devon, Jack and Kyle outta the trunk some of the younger kids are running up to us. That’s part two… Uncategorized